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Transcription:Working for Doom
[The scene opens at the Hall of Doom in the middle of Slaughter Swamp. There is a parking lot nearby. Scarecrow pulls into a parking spot and then gets out of his car.] Scarecrow: 'This commute is murder. [''sighs] Okay, let's do this. [Scarecrow hops on a small rock leading into the swamp's water, following a path made of them. As he makes his way to the third one, he gets attacked by a swarm of mosquitoes.] '''Scarecrow: Ow! You little vampires! [Scarecrow tries to hop from that rock to a larger one that leads into the Hall of Doom, but ends up falling leg-first into the water. He struggles to pull his leg out, but when he does, he realizes his shoe was left behind.] Scarecrow: 'Aw, my moccasin! [''Scarecrow tries to reach into the murky water to retrieve his shoe, but at that moment a crocodile jumps on top of him and tries to attack.] 'Scarecrow: '''Oh no, not again! Ow, ow! Just be gentle, Mr. Snappy. [''Meanwhile, Riddler and Sinestro are standing at the Hall of Doom's front entrance, with Sinestro trying in vain to swipe his card. He rapidly swipes it a few times, but the scanner does not recognize him.] '''Sinestro: What is wrong with this piece of shit?! Riddler: Swipe it slower. [Sinestro swipes his card slowly, but the scanner still rejects it.] Riddler: Uh, that's too slow! [Sinestro starts to get annoyed] Is it facing the right way? Sinestro: OF COURSE IT'S FACING THE RIGHT- [He stops and looks at the card.] Okay, it was not. [Inside the Hall of Doom, Lex Luthor is talking to his daughter, Lena.] Lena: Dad, this is total bullcrap! It's Spring Break! My boyfriend invited me to his family's place at the beach! Lex Luthor: Well, the court says I get you on weekends and holidays.Like it or not, we're spending this time together. Lena: Ugh, doing what? Lex Luthor: Oh, I have a plan for you... [The scene cuts to Lena working as a cashier at a Starbucks-style coffee house within the Hall of Doom, with customers lined up to make orders.] Darkseid: Give me a double espresso latte, half decaf, medium foam, with a dusting of Dutch chocolate. Lena: [To herself] That bald son of a bitch... [Black Adam and Gorilla Grodd are standing in line.] Black Adam: Does Weather Wizard want coffee? [Grodd checks his phone.] Grodd: I texted him. I think he's responding because those three dots are hovering right there. [Two-Face approaches the counter] Two-Face: Tall cafe latte, please. Lena: Okay, that's uh, $3.95. Two-Face: Uh, you didn't ask me if I wanted whip or no whip. Lena: Do you want whip? [Two-Face takes out his coin, flips it, and looks at the result.] Two-Face: Whip. Lena: Great. Two-Face Do I want an extra shot of espresso? Lena: I don't know, do you? Two-Face: We'll see... [Two-Face reaches into his pocket for his coin, but has trouble getting it out.] Two-Face: Uh, sorry, hold on. It's in my keys. [To the people behind him] It's in my keys. Lena: It's on the house, okay? Two-Face: Free or not free has nothing to do with it. I don't know if I want it. Only the coin knows if I want it! [Two-Face flips his coin, but it lands in the tip jar.] Two-Face: Hang on. [He reaches in to try and get it out.'' Meanwhile, Brainiac is seated next to Poison Ivy with a laptop that is apparently not working very well.] '''Brainiac: '''Oh, come on! The wi-fi password doesn't work! '''Poison Ivy:' Aren't you a living supercomputer? Use the wi-fi in your brain. Brainiac: I don't have wi-fi; I have 3G! And I'm logged into a shitty family plan, mom blows through all my data Netflixing Castle, I have no minutes, ever! Ever! [We then see Grodd talking to Lena at the counter.] Grodd: Working here on your Spring Break? That's total ''bullcrap, Lena. '''Lena:' Yeah, well tell that to Daddy WarBald. Grodd: Daddy WarBald! [laughs] We should follow each other on Twitter! Damon Lindelof favorited my Tweet once! [Grodd then shows Lena on his phone that, yes, Mr. Lindelof indeed favorited his Tweet: specifically, one that says "@DamonLindelof ruined Prometheus".We then see Grodd at another counter flavoring his coffee while conversing with Black Adam.] Grodd: '''So, Lena over there has to work on Spring Break! Did you even ''know ''it was Spring Break? '''Black Adam: What does it matter? We don't get vacations! Grodd: That's what I told Lena! She says that's so unfair! Black Adam: Lena makes a lot of good points. Grodd: Oh, and you know, she's vegan? I really admire that Lena. [Grodd's phone beeps to indicate that he got a text message. He reads it.] Grodd: Weather Wizard wants an Americano. 'Black Adam: '[Takes a sip from his coffee] Say we already left. Category:Transcriptions